IDGAF: Month 2

Already another month has passed - blown through like the ever changing winds of the seasons. And where do I find myself? 

I feel like I stalled a bit this month - like I was grinding my gears a bit and stalling my engine. I started the month off really well, but towards the middle I became a bit more apathetic than I'd like to admit. I started saying "I really should read now but I have loads of time, so I'll go do this other thing instead" and I sort of fell into a bit of a lull. My weekly practice has been suffering alongside my reading, and I feel frustrated I let it get to this point. But here I am, admitting my struggles to all of you, because I feel like I'm not alone in this. I know that even if you're not having a hard time with things now, there might come a time when you are, so you can look back on this and not beat yourself up over it. We're all human. I'm going through this process like the other initiates, and I want you all to see that.

Challenges, although frustrating, are actually kind of great. They make us push ourselves past our comfort zones. Kind of like, when you reach a wall, do you find a way around or over it, knock it down, or walk away from it? 

We also just got another IDGAF initiate, which I find incredibly exciting. I'm really happy to see that our first initiate is enjoying her IDGAF "studies" so far, and it's great to hear how it's been a positive influence in her spiritual practice. I'm excited to see how her studies are progressing, and will continue to progress. I'm also interested to see how our new initiate will integrate IDGAF into her practice, and where that will take her in the future. 

That's it for now. Stay tuned later in the week for my answer to the blog prompt. 

A Brief Tarot Comparison

*Please Note* This will be an image-heavy post, and might not be the best to view on a mobile device.

Hello all!

Since I have a bit of free time tonight, I figured I'd finally come on here and do that tarot review I was talking about a few weeks back. 

I don't really remember when I first became interested in tarot, but I've always been a bit curious about it. It wasn't until I was in high school that I really took an interest in it though, at which point my dad bought me my very own deck. He used to let me look through his cards sometimes when I was a kid, so I think I was kind of intrigued by them at a young age (pretty sure he had the Tarot of Marseilles set). My dad also had (and probably still does) a small stone collection, which may also be where I get my love of stones and crystals, but that's another story. 

Anyway, my first tarot deck was a used copy of the Rider-Waite Tarot. It wasn't a deck I would have ever gone out and bought for myself, but it was neat to have cards of my very own. As I started to look at them more and more, I knew wanted to get a nicer set of cards - something I actually enjoyed looking at. I think the first deck I bought myself was the Morgan-Greer Tarot. While I enjoyed working with them, the more I worked at the pagan shop the more tarot cards I saw, and the more I realized I might want a different set. That's the unfortunate trap you fall into being pagan and working at a pagan store - you want to buy everything in sight. So, naturally, I now have 3 decks, and I could easily have more. 

The ones I currently have are the Hanson-Roberts Tarot, the Robin Wood Tarot, and The Shadowscapes Tarot. As you can probably guess from these decks, I'm a bit of a traditionalist. I'm still not very confidant in my ability to read the cards myself, so that's the biggest reason I'm sticking with more traditional decks, but the Shadowscapes Tarot was so pretty I couldn't help but buy it. I'm hoping that with the Hanson-Roberts and Robin Wood decks I'll be able to learn the cards well, and then I'll be able to move on to more artsy cards and still be able to read with them no problem - and maybe even get new layers of meanings from them. 

So on to the photos!

So the Robin Wood Tarot is the deck on the left, the Hanson-Roberts Tarot is the one in the middle, and The Shadowscapes Tarot is on the right.

I pulled the 3 of cups from each deck so you can get a feel for the differences between them. It's really easy to see how different the Shadowscapes tarot is from the other two. It's a lot more elaborate overall, and uses vastly different imagery from the traditional decks, but I think that everything on that card is there for a specific reason, and because of that, I think that deck has a lot to offer aside from just being pretty. 

Here's the details of the cards:

Shadowscapes Tarot

Hanson-Roberts Tarot

Robin Wood Tarot

So I also wanted to show you some of the cards I often look at when I'm choosing a deck, because I find it very interesting how each deck interprets these specific cards. Here's the overview shot:

And here's the detailed images of each *Please Note* Some of the images may be PG-13:

Shadowscapes

Robin Wood

Hanson-Roberts

Shadowscapes

Robin Wood

Hanson-Roberts

Shadowscapes

Robin Wood

Hanson-Roberts

So from these it's pretty easy to see the big differences between the more traditional decks and the more artistic one.  Because of this, I think it's easy to see why someone struggling at trying to learn the meanings of the cards, like myself, would be better suited at trying to start off with more traditional images and then moving on to the more pretty cards. 

Overall, my favourite of the 3 decks would have to be the Hanson-Roberts. I really enjoy the coloured pencil shading, as well as the physical size of the cards. I find them to be similar to the size of a deck of playing cards, which helps a lot when you have small hands and are trying to shuffle or, are just a clumsy shuffler (like myself). 

I also bought the Robin Wood tarot at the same time as the Hanson-Roberts deck because I was having a hard time deciding between the two. The overall images are very similar, but are slightly different stylistically. 

I was going to decide between the two decks by going through and making two piles - one for the cards I liked, one for the cards I didn't - and from there, I'd count each pile and go with the one that had the more "likes". The problem with that was that by the time I'd gotten through each deck, the "likes" and "not likes" piles from each deck had the exact same number. So, I ended up getting both.

I don't often use the Shadowscapes tarot because I find it really hard to read, and I think that's only because I'm still familiarizing myself with the cards in general. I love the art work though, more so than any other tarot deck I've come across. I especially like her choice of the Phoenix as the image on the Death card, and the way she ties the suits together with a common theme and colour scheme. I think that once I know more, that will likely end up being my favourite deck. 

I also feel it pertinent to say that I didn't mean to choose the most menacing of cards to compare these decks, but these cards (Death, The Devil, and the Hanged Man) are all pretty loaded in terms of their meanings, and I thought it would be interesting for you to see a side-by-side comparison as to how each person represents them.

So yeah, the Hanson-Roberts is the winner in my books, because of the art style and size, but the Robin Wood follows closely behind (because the cards are larger and although I enjoy the art style, I prefer the look of the Hanson-Roberts), with the Shadowscapes following behind in third place, only because it's not exactly the easiest to read when you're starting out (I find).

I hope you've enjoyed seeing some different tarot cards. Now that you know some of the criteria I use to choose my decks, maybe it will help if you're thinking of picking up a new one? Happy tarot-ing! 

Blog Prompt and Earth Day

Happy Earth Day everyone!

I know it's not likely a gorgeous day everywhere, but here it's absolutely wonderful. I'm hopeful to be able to go out for a bit after work and enjoy it while it lasts.

I really feel like I've been slacking a lot lately, and I know I posted this before, but it seems to only have gotten worse with the advent of nicer weather. I think I'm really going to have to challenge myself to set aside some reading time soon. So, with that in mind, I figured I'd come on here and post about last week's blog prompt, so I don't have multiple ones in the same post. Here goes!

What's your favourite part of your practice and why?

I'm not sure that I can say I have a favourite part, to be honest. I really enjoy having an altar set up again though, and I like the layout I currently have for it. It's nice to have a spot to call my own, where I can go to practice when I want.

I also enjoy getting outside whenever I can, and I like to somehow incorporate rituals to suit the outdoors where possible. I love going for walks, and I think that being able to go into a wooded area and walk around somehow helps me to connect/reconnect on a subconscious level. Most of the time when I'm out for a walk I just walk - enjoying all the wildlife and scenery that surrounds me - and I don't really think about anything aside from just being there, at that precise moment. So, I guess in a way, that's kind of like a meditative practice in that I'm leaving everything behind and just being in the moment of wherever I happen to be. So maybe that could be my favourite part of my practice?

I really enjoy working with tarot as well though, but more on a "for fun" level, and not so much as an overly serious thing, just because I'm so "new" to it. I like exploring the elements too though, on a more physical level...so I guess there's lots about my practice that I enjoy, but nothing that I can really pin-point as a favourite part, aside from going on walks.

Caio for now!

Lunar Eclipse's Get Me All Fired Up...tee hee

Jambo everyone! (pronounced like Jaam-Bo - it's a Swahili greeting, for those of you that don't know)

I hope you guys have been having a fabulous week! Mine has once again been busy, but I'm plodding onwards.

I picked our stuff up from the Clay Cafe on my way home from work today, and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out.

For a refresher, here's the before...

And here's what it looks like now that it's been fired up:

So quite a big change in the tiki "mugs". I know it's hard to see in this photo, but the antler I painted to look like it's got a cherry blossom branch on it, actually turned out pretty good. One of the shades of pink that I used was too light though, so it's really hard to see, but other than that I don't think it's a bad first attempt.

I also picked up a book I had on special order today, which I'm pretty excited about. I've been wanting to read it for a while (my reading list keeps getting longer somehow) so I'm glad I finally get to read it. It will be my next book for IDGAF, so I don't want to start reading it until I'm done The Way of the Shaman, but I'm pretty anxious to get started on it now that its in the house. I won't tell you what it is just yet, so you'll have to stay tuned to my book updates if you're interested.

I also wanted to mention that there was a full lunar eclipse on Tuesday, in case you didn't know - I think it was around 3 or 4 am my local time - so we ended up doing a thing for that on Monday after everyone was home from work (because we knew we'd be busy on Tuesday evening). This was the ritual that Renee was planning as one of our IDGAF rituals (you need to do a minimum of one per month). Since it turned out to be such a wonderful day, we went to our regular spot outdoors for our witchy observance.

We ended up doing a consecration ritual of sorts - to help that space feel more like ours, and also to help give our own personal spaces a little extra oomph. We burned some powdered incense that Drew (and maybe Renee, I don't remember - it's been a whirlwind week again) made from dried herbs, and then each of us wrote down the things we wanted to see in our space on some parchment paper and tossed it in the cauldron.

We kept a good fire going even though it was windy

My wishes for the space

Fly free!

This is what happened if we added too much incense at once, but I thought it looked really cool. It likely helped to consecrate the space a bit better too. 

This is what happened when the "right" amount of incense got added...so pretty!

So then we let the fire die out, and sprinkled the ashes around from what was left, but we saved some for ourselves to have on our own altars as well. We also consecrated ourselves...kind of like ash wednesday, but more witchy. I was being very silly and took this "omg, why is there a smudge on my forehead?!" photo after the fact...

Don't I just look both shocked and horrified?  

So I guess that's it for now. I hope everyone gets to enjoy a long weekend, seeing as how it's Good Friday this week. I know a lot of things are closed here, so many people get the day off. I wish you all a Happy Easter, even if you may not celebrate it in the traditional sense! (Just because I'm not Christian doesn't mean I don't enjoy some time off and tasty, tasty chocolates, and I feel like some of you might feel the same way.)

What the Cards Said...I Think

So the last two "weekly practice" things I've done for IDGAF have actually been tarot readings, and inspired by Drew's recent video, I figured I'd share the one I did for today's weekly working.

Just as a disclaimer, I'm no tarot expert, but I do enjoy dabbling here and there. I still need to get the interpretations from books in order to do my readings, but today was the first time I was able to put it all together into something that makes sense to me. I kind of think that tarot readings should tell a story (I guess, depending on the reading), but I never really took the time to sit down and put all the meanings together to try and make sense of them until now. I think it went really well.

I used the "Who I am now and where I'm going" spread from The Tarot Bible by Sarah Bartlett (on pg 274 if you're interested), and I used Tarot Plain and Simple by Anthony Louis to help me do the interpreting. I could have cross-referenced with the Tarot Bible if I wanted to, which is what I normally do, but this time I didn't. Anyway, this is what my spread looked like once I flipped everything over:

So I'm sure you can't quite make out all the cards from this photo, so I took close-up shots of each card so you can get the details. I'm using the Hanson Roberts deck in this reading.

Card 1 is in the middle of the spread, with card 2 turned sideways on top of it. Card 3 is in the top left-hand corner, card 4 is in the top right, and cards 5-7 are along the bottom, going from left to right. Card 1 is supposed to represent "who I am now", card 2 - "what I don't know about myself", card 3 - "What I need to relinquish", card 4 - "what I need to develop", card 5 - "what I'd love to become", card 6 - "current quest", and card 7 - "where it will lead me". This is how it played out:

In this reading 3 "rods" (in other decks they might be called "wands") came up, which is something I thought was significant, so it was one of the first things I looked at. I thought that the presence of many rods could suggest that this layout likely concerns business matters or career issues, especially pertaining to new ventures, enterprises or projects that might pop up that are related to work in some way. I didn't ask anything specific as I was shuffling the deck, I just kept thinking "who am I now and where am I going?" So with that in mind...

Card 1 - Who I am Now

So right now it would seem as though I'm in for a possible sudden and somewhat disruptive change - a change that could be dramatic and shocking - probably related to my job in some way - that may force me to question long-held beliefs or values and could shake the foundation of what I know to be 'true'. The card itself looks very unsettling, and when I flipped it over my first thought was "oh god". At least I have some warning though, right?

Card 2 - What I Don't Know About Myself

What I don't realize is how far I'm willing to go for something, and how determined I am to overcome any obstacles I face. I also don't realize how capable I am to stand up for and defend myself against these things. I might have one last roadblock standing in the way of me reaching my goal, but when the time is right, I have the courage and determination that I don't know I have that will help me reach my goal.

Card 3 - What I Need to Relinquish 

What I need to give up or let go seems to be more of a person than a thing. This person is likely a male in some kind of a leadership or entrepreneurial role. He is a skilled communicator that is honest, trustworthy, and professional. He is also likely to be optimistic, fun-loving, passionate, and generous, but he may dislike details and is prone to hasty action. 

Card 4 - What I Need to Develop

This was another card I kind of recoiled at when I flipped over. Normally it's not a very good card to get, as you can see from the image itself. In this case, however, I was having a lot of trouble figuring out how it made any sense in this point in reading, so I think that it may also be referring to a person rather than the qualities of the card. It could be suggesting that I need to develop more of a backbone, so-to-speak, and become less sensitive to criticism and the slights of others. It also could be that I need to develop a relationship with someone or help someone who is plagued by fear, guilt, doubts and worries that are to a large extent unfounded. It could be a person dealing with a problematic or difficult situation in which they feel their nightmares are becoming a reality.

Card 5 - What I'd Love to Become

Again, this is another card that most people hate to see pop up in a spread, but I really don't mind it at all. In this case, it seems as though it's more of a "what I'd like to see happen" than a "what I'd like to become" though, because I'm not sure that you can become change or transformation. Anyway, it seems like a situation might be coming to an end with a new one "dawning" so-to-speak. This card is all about endings and new beginnings, so a loss is possible (in this case, maybe a job) in order to make way for something new. A major change looks like it's about to take place - transformation is imminent. 

Card 6 - Current Quest

It looks like my current quest is actually an opportunity or an invitation in which new relationships might play a role. There might be an offer that is hard to resist. This opportunity or invitation might lead me to "follow my dreams" or to "dream the impossible". It could be an offer that leads to new experiences. 

Card 7 - Where it Will Lead Me

It looks like this "quest" will lead me to a successful enterprise, or to something in which I may end up a "career woman". There were a lot of qualities of this card that could very well represent me, but this card also had a lot of business success connotations attached to it.

So this was a very interesting reading for me. I got a lot of cards that are kind of jarring to see when they come up, but it doesn't seem as though it's all doom and gloom in this case. Kind of the opposite, really. I'm taking from this reading that it's very possible a dramatic career change could happen, with a positive outcome, but not without some "roadblocks" to surmount. 

Stay tuned for a forthcoming update in which I plan to compare the 3 decks of tarot cards I own and why I chose each of them. Buenas noches, amigos! 

Stalling and Crafting

So this week has been a bit of a shit show for me, and as a result my IDGAF stuff has been suffering quite a bit. I've been wanting to come on here and give a bit of a life update for a while though, and I find myself in possession of some spare time, so now seems like a great time to do that. I warn you now, this post will not be overly IDGAF related.

The past several days have been great for me, but busy. On Monday night, I went to a Feist concert. It was the first date and only Canadian stop on her Mettle solo tour, with Kevin Drew opening for her (he's from Broken Social Scene). It was an amazing concert. I find myself saying "this is one of the best concert's I've seen" to nearly every concert I've been to lately (the past two were Tegan and Sara last summer, and Serena Ryder last March), but when I say that about this one, I truly mean it. It's a privilege to be able to see a fairly famous singer without a backing band at this stage in her career, and I have to say, I almost prefer listening to her songs stripped down they way they were on this tour. She also played a really long show - went on around 9:20 and didn't finish until about 11:10 or so. She also brought out Gordon Downy as a surprise guest, and he sang Flamenco with her. I was so surprised to see him when Kevin Drew invited him on stage for a song...I kind of lost it a little. I'm not a huge Tragically Hip fan, but I do enjoy some of their stuff, and it was really cool to get to see Gordon Downy. So anyway, it was a really great concert, but I left the house around 6:40 in the morning that day and didn't get home until after midnight. 

Tuesday was really rainy and gross here, so thankfully I didn't have to go anywhere but home after work, so I was able to get some IDGAF reading done that day.

Yesterday after work, Heather and I went to the Clay Cafe so that I could finish painting something I started on Sunday when I was there with my in-laws. The Clay Cafe is a "paint your own pottery studio", which is actually really fun! It was only the second time I was there, and I could have spent so much money on altar decorations! As it is I got two on Sunday, and then Heather and I went splits on one last night. (I'll post a picture of my "before" items in a bit) There's just so many different things that would be neat to have/paint. I'd love to go back there for more stuff soon! Here's the "before" photo of my stuff (which should be ready for pick-up next week):

The colours you see here will change quite a bit once these get fired, so stay tuned for an update on the finished products. I also painted a cherry blossom pattern on the other side of the antler, but I'm not overly talented in the free-handing department, so I'm kind of worried it's going to suck once it comes out of the kiln. 

Anyway, I guess that's pretty much it for this update. I've been wanting to do some more reading, and also to make a video, but as you can tell, it just wasn't in the cards this week. (Today was also a bit of a write-off as we had some cat-issues to deal with after work.) I'm really hoping to get back on track with everything next week. I haven't even found time for a "weekly practice" this week, which is terrible. Thankfully there are still 2 days left.  Anyway, I should be off. Hope all is well with everyone that might be reading this out there. Caio for now! 

Weekly IDGAF Blog Prompt

This week, our question was: What drew you into the occult, and how has that viewpoint changed/been reinforced?

Well, to be really honest, I was "drawn to the occult" because I thought it was cool. I was about 12 when I stumbled across Wicca. It was 1999 and I was in my first year of junior high. I had moved to a new school so I didn't know anyone at first. Over the first few months I became really good friends with two people, one of whom ended up telling me that her sister was a witch. I outright laughed at this. I thought that witches were found in movies or cartoons, with green, warty skin and long, crooked noses, wearing pointed black hats and black robes, riding brooms. Yep. I had no idea real witches existed. I'd never heard of the Salem Witch Trials or the Witch-hunts during the Reformation. So, you can well imagine my surprise when I found out there were actual witches - people that looked like you and me. I was fascinated, and naturally, wanted to learn everything I could. I scoured the internet, discovered the local "witch" shop, and spent some time in the library looking for books. Remember though, I was 12. So essentially, I found a handful of websites that didn't really have a whole lot of information on them, went in the shop a few times and didn't really buy much beyond some jewellery and incense, and took out one book from the library. 

At that time, I was most intrigued by spells. I was a 12 year-old pre-teen girl, so of course that's what I'd be drawn to most. After doing that initial "research", I decided that I would try a spell to help my Dad's computer stop crashing. What harm could it do? It was an inanimate object and I wasn't hurting anyone, so it should be fine, right? Well...about a week after my "spell" the computer ended up messing up so badly we had to get a new one. Was it my spell, or did it need to be replaced anyway? Whatever the case, it freaked me out enough to put a stopper in my wonderment with Wicca for a year or two.

In my last year of junior high, we had an orientation at the library one day. The librarian was telling/showing us some new books they'd gotten in, when she came to a book called Blood Witch, which was the third book in a new series called Sweep. It sounded neat to me, so I decided to give it a go, and as a result of reading that book my interest in Wicca was sparked again. This time though, I was in it for the "right" reasons. Everything I was reading now seemed to click. The holidays, the duality of the divine, the elements - everything seemed right to me. 

So to get to the question at hand - I guess you could say that spells drew me to the occult. Where as when I first discovered things I just thought it was "cool", now I understand the purpose of spell craft and it means a lot more to me now than it did back then. It was just something fun to try and dabble in at first, but now I see spells as prayers rather than something to try out for fun. Through my own self-discovery and learning, my view point changed dramatically. I also think that 14 years of "growing" might have something to do with it too. 

Good Times on The Witching Hour

So myself, Renee, and Heather were on a radio show earlier tonight talking about IDGAF. Overall, I think it went well. While I don't think we were a train wreck, I also think it could have been a bit better...then again, I'm usually pretty harsh on myself and I can see room for improvement in just about anything I do. That's beside the point, though. 

I know I was pretty darn nervous. I really don't like to be the centre of attention or feel like there's a spotlight on me somehow, and that's kind of how I felt during the show. Despite that, I was mostly able to overcome nerves and talk like a normal human being, I think. I froze a bit, but it could have been worse I guess. It's my hope that we were able to dispel a lot of the negativity and rumours I feel like our local community had (and the larger pagan community for that matter). I somehow felt like we had to prove ourselves, and I think that we at least won the respect of our interviewer. Maybe this isn't the case, but she seemed very "prickly" at first.

Anyway, I'm really glad I got the opportunity to go on the show and talk about stuff, and I would definitely go on again in the future. I'm not coming on here to gloat or rant about my experience, but to say "Hey! I did this thing I'm usually really uncomfortable doing, and it didn't suck!" 

I also wanted to come on here to clear a few things up, seeing as how we've already had a comment about the show saying that we were essentially bashing wiccans. That is totally not the case. I guess I can sort of see how you might misconstrue that out of a few things that were said, but we also repeatedly mentioned how we didn't think wicca was stupid or a silly path, and that we welcome people from any path. I know I said I would never call myself a wiccan. I stand by this. I wouldn't call myself a wiccan because I do too many other non-wiccan things to be able to call myself that. Sure, that's where my roots are. It's where I came from, and I owe wicca a lot . But it's not really where I am now. 

The fact of the matter is this: no matter what we say, someone somewhere is going to take something the wrong way and go spurting falsehoods. It happens. Haters gonna hate. All we can do is let our own words and actions speak louder than that, and essentially, not give a fuck. 

So, if anyone is interested in listening to the archived radio broadcast, you can find the link here. It was on a local university station called CKDU, on a show called The Witching Hour. That link will take you to the website, where you will find "program archives" in the left-hand side bar, in rather small font, under the "Donate" button, and wedged between the "Listen On-Line" and "Community Services" links. Then you'll see some drop-down menus in the main part of the page where you have to put in the date, time, and length of the clip you'd like to listen to. Start date is April 4, and the start time 19:30. It ran for 1 hour and 30 minutes.