I Open at the Close

A little note on my spiritual progression (so far) after IDGAF...

In my last blog post I mentioned that we've been doing more regular meditations, and this past week was no exception. It seems as though the more I do them, the more I get out of them. Obviously this is what I want to happen, and I'm thrilled its happening, but I have to say I'm actually kind of surprised. I really thought it would have taken more practicing before I got anything meaningful, but it's actually been more like riding a bike - a little shaky at first, but smooth sailing after a few pedals. 

I'm not sure if you've gotten this impression from me in the things I've posted thus far or not, but on the whole I'm a really sceptical person with just about everything until I can verify it. Spiritual matters are no exception. For example, I always thought Reki was a load of hooey until I saw someone instantly cured of a day-long nose bleed (literally, it had been happening off and on all day). I'm talking, had a nose bleed and got two Reki masters to Reki their face. By the time they were done the nose bleed was gone. To my knowledge this person hasn't actually had one since. That's the kind of confirmation I need. That, or witnessing two people having the same experiences or impressions of something that neither one of them have had or seen before. As an example, say two people are doing a healing and never worked together before. They both see the exact same thing that's plaguing the "sick" person and all three people have the same experiences when getting whatever it is to "release". 

Even better that any of that would be actually experiencing or seeing something for myself. That is the tricky part, however. I'm nervous of things, especially when it involves something I've not dealt with before, or something that's "bigger than me". For me, that's pretty much everything, lol! So what I'm trying to get out of these meditations is more self-awareness. I want to know myself - what I'm good at doing, what I should work on, who my guides are and how I can work with them, and what my focus should be. I've been getting some cryptic messages in all of this, but I think it's kind of fun to decipher them. I also need to be less nervous of everything, and I'm hoping that by the time I've gotten some questions answered I won't always turn hide and run if I hear or see something out of the ordinary.

I know I've mentioned I've started to make myself a staff in my previous post, but I just have to gush about it for a minute. I love it so far and all I've done is sand it down! I'm pretty pumped to work on it and finish it, and I love that I'm so excited about it. It's like I've found something to get me through the dreary winter. I would love to have it finished tomorrow but I need to get a few things for it and money is tight at the moment. I'm not expecting it will be completely finished before the spring but I could be wrong. 

I've also started reading To Walk a Pagan Path by Alaric Albertsson. I'm only a few chapters in, and I already think it needs to be added to the IDGAF reading list. It would be really helpful for someone whose trying to create a more spiritual daily experience. He's created a seven-step system, and gives tips and such that make a lot of sense. So, two thumbs up for that book! 

I open at the close. A cryptic message intended for Harry Potter to decipher, but it's not unlike some of the messages I've been receiving lately. Just a silly little something to title my post. 

The Dying of the Light

It's officially that time of year again - when everything slows down, the chill in the air turns into an icy nip, and the fleeting daylight becomes a beacon with witch to guide our way through the blanketed darkness enshrouding our lives. Autumn is slowly winding its way towards the cold, stark beauty of winter, and as much as I hate to admit it, I kind of enjoy it.

This year at Samhain, my coven ran a pretty heavy ritual. There were about 10 of us in attendance - the 4 of us, plus 6 of our closest witchy friends. It was an awesome ritual put together by my wife, and executed by the 4 of us. I played a ghostly spectre, the guardian of the crossroads between the living and the dead. To get by me you had to prove your willingness to let go and except your fate - death. We were burying the parts of ourselves that we no longer needed - physically burying them by imbuing our personalized poppets with those things that no longer served. At Samhain, it's time to let go and start anew, which is what we did. Once we sang ourselves our last rights and burial dirge, our bodies were ready for entombment. The grave we marked with a headstone. Once we let ourselves go, we came back to a lively wake - snacks and finger foods to share amongst friends. All in all, it was a really great ritual. Although I didn't get as much out of it as I was hoping, focusing a lot of my efforts on the part I had to play, I still walked away lighter.

I tend to get a lot of ideas around this time of year, since it's a more introspective time, and I've decided to make myself a staff. On Tuesday I found the perfect fallen tree branch near the spot we use in the marsh and brought it home with me. So far I've stripped the bark off, and I just need to sand it down a bit. I'm excited about this little project - something that hasn't happened to me in a while.

I also recently cleaned up my altar a bit; it was in desperate need of a bit of a re-vamp. Here's some before and after pictures:

So as you can see it had gotten a little stagnant, in the middle in particular, and because of that it lost a bit of its focus.

Now it's all reworked to be a little more suited to my needs. I left the tiers the same, by and large, but what I've done given them a bit more of a purpose. The top is a place where I'll put whatever it is I want to charge up or cleanse during a moon phase or something. The middle layer is more worldly things that are sort of physical representations of the elements. I also have my athame on this level to signify this is the level at which we operate on. The third and bottom layer has the most going on, because it's at eye level when I'm sitting in front of it. This is where I'll put any offerings (the empty wooden bowl), or any tarot cards I pull for focus or anything like that. It's also where I put my sugar skulls and the like, so that I've still got an upper, middle, lower worlds thing going on a bit.

My coven has also recently taken to doing a weekly guided medication, which I'm loving. It's something I'd been wanting to do for a while, so I'm glad we've kind-of sort-of maybe made it a bit of a thing during our weekly meetings. I'm admittedly way rustier than I'd like to be.

So here we are, on the winding, darkening path towards winter, and Yule. I love the stillness of the winter. The fresh feeling after a snowfall, when everything is silent and crisp, the smell, and when the contrast from the colour of barren trees and the near-blinding white of the snow is high. It's cold and it's jarring, and I both love and hate it at the same time. I hate bing cold. I hate being overburdened with outer winter wear, being icy cold one minute, and too hot the next. But I also love it (the season). It brings people closer together, and makes us appreciate the daylight more, the summer more. Sometimes there's nothing more you want to do on a cold, blustery, wintery night, than to curl up with a fluffy blanket, a good book, and a warm beverage of your choice. And maybe a cat and a loved one too. Can't forget the most important parts!

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I also wanted to take a moment to talk about Remembrance Day, especially in the wake of recent Canadian events. On November 11th our Country takes some time out to mark the ending of the war, and to reflect on those who died during wartime so that we can have the freedoms we do today. It's always been an important holiday to me, because my grandfather and my great uncle both fought in World War 2 (with the Navy). They were the lucky ones. They made it home. So many people didn't, or if they did, parts of them were missing either physically or mentally. This is what Remembrance Day means to me. Taking a moment to be thankful for the world we live in, because even with its shortcomings, it wouldn't be the way it is today without the sacrifices of so many. Taking a moment to remember that for every person that came home from the war, countless others didn't. It truly is the ultimate sacrifice. It's kind of fitting that it happens so close to Samhain, isn't it?