Vets and Stres and Dreams oh my!

So it's been a few days since I've updated on here, but I've still been writing. I just hadn't gotten a chance to get to the computer to actually make the updates. Here are the past few days that I did though...

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So I promise I wrote this on the 20th...I just didn't get to post it until today.

The reason I didn't post/write it earlier is because a friend came over before work and I wanted to catch up rather than write.

Anyway, I got my homework back for last month and I apparently forgot to include something. I really didn't think it was homework to be turned in, I thought it was a journal thing, so I feel badly that I didn't get it right. They were really nice about it though, and just said to include it in this month's stuff, so I'm glad for that.

I hate writing on my phone so this will be quick, because "I" keeps changing to "u" and it's really frustrating.

Anyway, it's been a good day. I did seasonal set up at work tonight because we have an important guy coming in to the store tomorrow and it needs to be done. Normally there are 3 people working on it, on backshift, for 2 12 hour shifts. Tonight it was just me. Hopefully I got enough done on it, but it's not my fault for not having it more done  than it is. I'm only 1 person.

I know this is kind of a pathetic entry, but I wanted to write something to say I did. 

Until next time!

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Another day where I didn't update on the day that I'm writing this, but again, I promise it's the 21st! I'll even take a photo to prove it!

Anyway, today was good. I played some Rock Band this morning for the first time in quite a while, but I've been dreaming about playing instruments that I used to play, so this gives me a false sense of playing something :P Not sure what that's all about, but there it is.

My day at work wasn't too bad, so that was a plus, and I was off an hour earlier than the rest of my shifts this week, so that's nice too. Normally I'd have just gotten on the bus.

I took the bus home with a co-worker tonight which was really nice actually, because we had a conversation about dreams. I found out he used to experiment with lucid dreaming a while back, which I thought was really cool to learn! In talking with him it made me realize that I have some hidden talent in my dreaming. I know that sounds weird, but, it's like things came easier to me than they did for him, and I dunno, it's like things that he had to work at, I didn't have to. I'm very grateful for this! 

As a child I had a lot of very vivid dreams (and I still do), but I also had a lot of nightmares. It was to the point where I would sleep with my light on, and my mom even got her friend to help me. I remember sleeping with a Bible under my pillow, and a little beach stone with a happy face drawn on it (I presume, to help fight off the bad dreams). I also remember that one of the first things I ever bought from Little Mysteries was a dream pillow, because at that time, I was having issues with insomnia. 

I guess even though some of my dreams are gory (chopping off a guy's head with an axe gory) or scary, I'm really lucky I remember them in the detail that I do (though not all the time), and I'm really lucky to even have them at all. I really do miss dreaming when I don't...though, I suppose I still do when I "don't", it's just that I don't remember my dreams on those nights. 

So with that, I'll leave you for the night. Since I'm not working tomorrow, I should hopefully be able to get to my computer to post these past two entries. 

Until next time!

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There we have it! All caught up. And now, on to today.

I've decided that I will be making and charging a protection charm on Sunday. I've already got a few things together, but I'll hopefully be able to get the rest of it tomorrow before work. I'd also like to do a healing thing for a family member on Sunday as well, so hopefully I can combine the two.

I had today off, and while it was really great to re-charge this morning, the rest of the day proved to be a lot busier than I had planned. I started the day a lot earlier than I was anticipating, but I also ended up dozing on the couch for a bit before I really got going. I had to make an appointment for one of our cats to see the vet because it looked like there was blood in his urine again. It turned out that the tests came back just fine, and that it's likely just a random flare up of his cystitis (I think that's what she said it was anyway). It was relieving to hear. 

My brother's partner's dog also had bathroom issues today, so I helped him take the dog to the vet. I actually spent a lot more time with him today than I have in a while - my brother that is, not the dog :P It was kind of nice getting to hang out, even if it wasn't exactly the best circumstances. The dog seems to be okay, in case you're wondering.  

I'm afraid today's post isn't going to be the most enlightening thing I've ever written, but I feel pretty drained. Stress from two animal health issues is enough for one day, and I think that's contributing to why I'm feeling so tired all of a sudden. That, or the fact that I was up just before 7 is catching up to me now that it's after 9:30. Since when did I get to be so old? :P 

I'm going to get going though, I want to get a few things tidied up before I head off to bed for the night. 

Until next time!

PS - Here's proof that those other posts were written when I said they were!

A little blurb on Witchcraft as a Religion..I mean little

It's been another lazy morning for me, but it's Sunday and I don't mind that so much. I did get some reading done though, so it wasn't all bad. 

I'm really not sure what to write about today though...I'm kind of drawing a blank. It feels like I just wrote, but on top of that all I've done so far is eat, read, and get myself dressed. 

...

Maybe I'll go to one of the questions from a few months ago and answer that...

When did you first hear about Witchcraft being a religion? How do you feel about Witchcraft as a religion?

Well, I first heard about it in grade 7 - when I was 12 - from a new friend at the time. I had just moved to a new school and she lived up the street from me, so we became friends pretty quickly. One day she told me that her sister had been a Witch and I didn't believe her. Until that point I thought witches were fictional halloween characters, that they couldn't possibly be real. A quick internet search led us to several Angelfire websites indicating that witches are very much real, and that their religion is Wicca. Keep in mind, this was around 1999 and Google wasn't really a thing yet, and Wikipedia wasn't really either, so our source material wasn't exactly the most reliable, but it's in part because of those early web searches that I'm sitting here today writing this.

It's funny looking back on my life growing up - my dad had a collection of crystals, a crystal ball, tarot cards, and a Ouija board. I had no idea what that all meant, so I didn't realize that Witchcraft was right under my nose the whole time and I didn't know it. 

Anyway, up until the last few years I would have argued that Witchcraft wasn't a religion, but that Wicca was. I would have said that Witchcraft was a practice more than a religion. After a few solid years of really delving into things, reading more, and doing more, that viewpoint has changed somewhat. 

How do I feel about it as a religion...just fine I guess XP I mean, having taken a degree in Religious Studies I feel like I have a fairly decent understanding of what constitutes religion and what's more cultural practices. Sometimes it's really hard to distinguish between the two, especially in the case of more Eastern religions, but I think that one could certainly call Witchcraft a religion apart from Wicca. You just have to look hard enough to find the differences between the two, and that's what I found to be challenging for a while. Although there's not necessarily a unifying doctrine to Witchcraft, there are governing laws that - depending on the witch - people ascribe to (see the Hermetic Principles). Without going into too much detail here, because I'm now running short on time, there are also a general set of practices and certain times that most witches will observe and do. You really just have to look at the bigger picture, and to take a step back to see it. 

Now I've got to head off - I've got a whopping 10 minutes to make sure I've got everything ready for work before I leave.

Until next time!

Breathing Space

I had a day off today!!!

I was supposed to be off on Wednesday of this week, but because of the snow, they switched things up on me a bit. I ended up having Tuesday off and working on Wednesday instead. While that wasn't a bad thing overall, I had to re-schedule the massage appointment I had for Wednesday, which was frustrating. I didn't think my back wasn't that bad because I'd just had a massage 3-ish weeks prior, so I was hoping that I could get myself back on track before things got bad again, but then I did a lot of shovelling with the storms and I ended up needing this massage a lot more than I figured I would/more than I realized I needed it.

My massage therapist works out of her house Monday-Friday and has another business she runs on weekends, so I thought that I wouldn't be able to re-scuedule until next week. It turned out that she'll be away for the next 2 weeks, so she made an exception and scheduled me in for today! How awesome was that?! So anyway, I went for my massage today, and discovered that my ribs were out of place! O.O I had no idea that things were so janked up, but she ended up doing some weird stuff to put my ribs back where they belonged, and I've got to say, I haven't been able to breathe this easy in weeks! It's kind of scary how oblivious I was to that...and it makes me wonder how much stuff is like that on a daily basis. Stuff that we just grow accustomed to and ignore because it's just so routine. Not just health related stuff, but thoughts and actions and energies...how do you change that? I don't think it's as simple as having someone crack your back - for lack of better terms - and fix things.

Anyway, the rest of the day was good. My wife and I ended up having brunch and then chatting with a friend for a while, before going home and napping and lazing about. I probably should have had a more productive day - reading - but, I think I needed the lazing.

I think that's it for me for today. I work a late shift tomorrow, and straight through until Wednesday. *sigh*

Until next time!

Ramblings

So today I'm working a later shift because I switched with someone that had something come up, so I'm writing before work instead of after. It just doesn't seem right to come home at midnight and then have to come on here - technically I'd have missed a day.

So far today has been pretty low-key. I slept in late, and when I got up I was really tired feeling, like I'm coming down with a cold. I'm also kind of achy, presumably from the shovelling. There's lots of colds and flus going around now though, and there have been a lot of people sick at work, so I've been very fortunate to make it this far without getting something. I'm hopeful I can skirt it, but I'm not holding my breath that's for sure.

I really haven't done much of anything today, so I'm not exactly sure what to write about. I went to the grocery store, but nothing overly exciting or poignant happened while I was there. I had a light breakfast though, so that I can grab a bite to eat before I have to leave for work.

I was talking to my mom for a bit this morning, which was nice. We're pretty close, but I had't spoken to her in about a week so she was feeling it. She'd heard from a mutual friend of ours who has been having a rough go of it lately. He had a shitty break up about 2 years ago, and has been trying to find someone ever since but to no avail. I felt really badly for him at the time, and it really sucks we don't live closer so we can hang out and whatnot, but from the sounds of things, the winds of change just blew his way and the universe might be helping him out. I'd really like to drop him a line and see what's up, but this took priority over that, unfortunately.

I'm nearly "done" my lesson for this month, which is nice, but I still need to do the big exercise and listen to the class notes. It's really hard only having one day off at a time - not 2 days off together - because you try and cram everything in one day and then, I'm noticing, that I feel burnt out. This past week wasn't too bad because of the snow days though, so I feel like I accomplished a lot in the past week. Plus I've started this, so that's good too.

I think that's it for now...I might go and start to listen to those notes. I find I can't really do much else when I listen to them, or else I don't absorb as much...I guess that makes sense. I can usually multi-task as good as the next person, but when it comes to something that requires a bit more attention I can really only do one thing at a time.

Until next time!

All You Need Is A Hug

Ugh.

Not the best way to start off a post/entry, but there it is.

I'm super sore from all the shovelling lately, but I think that it was particularly today's round of vigorous shovelling that did me in. I still love the snow though, no matter how messy it makes me.

I was having a pretty decent day all and all, until some stuff happened and I realized I was in a really foul mood for no apparent reason. Here's what happened: I was putting out today's order, and all was well and good. I was noticing that I was a bit on the tired side despite having had a coffee, and I assumed it was because I'd neglected to take my vitamin B12 supplement for a few days in a row. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm sure all the shovelling I'd done earlier wasn't helping my energy levels either. Aside from the tiredness, though, I was in a good headspace. I had gotten to work really early (like 1.5 hours, because I was worried about having to wait forever for a bus), but in that time I had a bite to eat and did the crossword in today's Metro. All was well. Then I realized my co-worker was being a bit of a downer. I'm not trying to criticize her, but in an effort to explain how my mood changed so suddenly, I'm nit-picking a bit. Anyway, she was just very blah and ho-hum about things, and complaining about customers. I get it, we all have to vent. I'm sure I've done it before too. She also seemed on the tired side. But at this point I wasn't noticing that I was getting short or cranky or anything. Then, a customer came in who has been known to cause us issues, and I think that's when things started to go down hill. My co-worker was really frustrated with this person, and the customer himself was just...off. One of the managers came down to help make sure he wasn't going to cause us issues, and I could tell he was also agitated. Things got really bad shortly after that though, when we had issues with a photo kiosk and that same manager had to call IT for help. He had to keep running back and forth to the phone and the machine, and it was very apparent that he was not in a good mood. I was helping him with the issue.

It was shortly after this that I realized I was also in a rotten mood. And the more I thought about it, the more I couldn't explain why...until I examined my environment. Then I realized that the way I was feeling probably wasn't coming from me, and that I was just picking up on the mood(s) of the people around me. Once I realized this, I had no idea how to shake it. I mentioned it to another co-worker though, when he asked me how I was doing - I think he could tell I was off - and I explained to him my realization. I asked him "how do you think I can fix it?" and his reply was "with a hug - it always helps me when I'm in a shitty mood" and so we had a hug. And do you know what? In a matter of 30 minutes or so, I felt loads better. I also did some visualization which also could have helped, but by and large, I think the hug really helped to get things turned around.

So my realization of the day is: perhaps I pick up on more than I think I do in the run of a day, energetically. I'm thinking I should really start to reintegrate shielding into my daily practice to help from picking up on unwanted or emotions. I'm also thinking that I should look at ways to help swing things back around in my favour when/if this happens again. I'm sure it's happened before but I just wasn't as aware of it, especially when I'm on the bus.

Anyway, I should go make that popcorn I've been wanting for the past hour :P

Until next time!

A New Day

In an effort to make myself more accountable, and to give myself more daily structure, I have decided to take my journal off the physical pages of a notebook, and put it here, on my blog. I am doing this quite reluctantly though, because I am very tactile and I love having a physical notebook to write in with a fancy pen. It is my hope that by making this digital it will force me into more of a daily routine. The biggest reason I'm choosing to do this, however, accountability. I intend on making this accessible for my witchy friends. I hope that in doing this it will force me to be more accountable, to get me back in the habit of making this a routine rather than "oh I'm too tired right now, I'll just do it tomorrow" but the trouble is, tomorrow never comes.

As a part of the class I'm taking, I've decided to do a ritual of dedication. I'm finding it hard to maintain the momentum I had when the class started in the fall, so in hopes of bringing some of that back, I am changing up this blog a bit. Like I said earlier, now it will serve as my journal. Because I will now have a more public journal, there will be times when I change certain things up ever so slightly in the interest of privacy. Just because my life will be more of an open book, it doesn't mean that anyone else's has to be.

And now, with that, the first journal entry...

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5 days in, and this is my first "real" journal entry...could be worse I guess. I've been doing really well at keeping up with most everything else so far though. The only other thing I really need to work on is meditating. I'm not sure why it's so difficult for me to find the time to do it. It's not like I dislike it or anything, in fact, it's quite the opposite, but for some reason it's like there's a block. I suppose it could be because the altar room is so cold all the time, and just the thought of going in there makes me shiver. I guess it could also be because it's on a different level of the house than where I usually hang out, so it requires more effort to get up and go there. Maybe it's just that I'm lazy...I dunno. It's like...I like the idea of it, but not so much the doing of it. It's kind of weird.

Anyway, something that I've noticed recently is that there is a marked difference in my mood when recite the Lorax. It's like it helps me to get out of whatever "funk" I'm in. I also notice a marked difference when I use BP's. I never thought something so simple could have such quantifiable results, but I'm really noticing a positive change from just those two simple things. Those, along with my affirmations, have really made for a great daily practice. Now if I could just get my butt in gear to meditate, I'd be in business! 

(Just so you know, I'm not actually reciting the Lorax by Dr. Seuss - for privacy reasons, I changed the name and used an abbreviation for something else)

We're getting more snow tonight...and I secretly/not so secretly, love it. I love seeing so much snow. I know a lot of people hate it, and I totally get how frustrating it can be - shovelling the snow wall at the end of our driveway yesterday was a Herculean task, believe me - but I absolutely love the snow. I love how crisp it is and how pristine everything looks just after it's fallen. I love the smell of snow and how fresh it feels. I especially love when it crunches beneath your boots - the perfect snow for skiing in. I guess I just never outgrew the love of snow I had when I was a kid. It's almost like it energizes me. As much as I love the summer - how lush, green, and alive everything is - I absolutely melt in its heat. But in the winter - when everything is dead, frozen, and sleep - my body thrives in the cold, crisp air. It's funny how that is.

Anyway, it's getting late - 11:15 - so I should really be off for the night. 

Here's hoping this new journal format works out better for me. Until next time!