So long and thanks for all the fish, 2017!

Well, where do I begin?! 

Firstly, I hope everyone has had an awesome holiday season - regardless of what you celebrate - and that you were all able to take some time to enjoy the season or just to relax and unwind a bit. I know I may not be overly present in everyone’s lives, but know that you are in my thoughts just the same. My life has a way of getting away on me, and I find that I get caught up doing the same things, and then all of a sudden the year has passed me by and here we are. 

For me, 2017 was a pretty decent year in a lot of ways, but it certainly wasn’t without ups and downs. The biggest thing for me this year was going through the W1 training with the Temple of Witchcraft. When the class started in October of 2016, there were 7 local people in the class, but just 3 of us finished the course. It’s kind of sad to see that so many people ended up stepping down from it, but if it’s something they really felt drawn to, I think that they’ll go back to it when the time is right. I consider this to be a huge accomplishment for me, though. It’s something I’ve wanted to do for years but I let money get in the way and so I didn’t really even try to consider that it could be something I could do. I’m really grateful for all of the experiences I had with it, and for all of the people I met along the way. I knew I felt a connection to the tradition when I first found it, back in its infancy - I think only the first 2 Temple books had been published at that point - and so it’s humbling to be able to say that I am now apart of it. I’m also really excited to say that I get to continue my studies with the Temple in March, when the next W2 class starts. I’ve come so far already, so I’m really interested to see where this next course takes me. 

In keeping a with the Temple tradition, I was able to get to Templefest again this past August. It was in a new spot - at a retreat centre, complete with cabins, dorms, and on-site food. I have to say that I did miss the old spot, but the new location was quite nice, and I will be happy to get back there next August - although I’m not exactly sure how I’ll be getting there. I met a lot of awesome people though, so I’m hoping that I’ll get to reconnect with them again next year. 

I’m still at the same job that I was this time last year, and I’m ready for a change. It’s not the absolute worst, but it was really only meant to be a bridge until I found something a little better, but that just hasn’t happened. Not for lack of trying though. I think I’ve had 3 or 4 job interviews this past year, none of which panned out, unfortunately. It sucks, but I’m hoping it means that 2018 will bring me a career that I will be happy with, instead of a job I can tolerate. I really need a higher paying job though...money is really starting to become an issue for us, all because my job pays me half (ish) of what Heather’s job pays her. I’ve also still been getting split days off, and although the past 2 weeks or so I’ve been getting mostly 8-4 shifts, my schedule has been all over the board. It’s time for something better. 

There were some familial losses in 2017, mostly late in the year, and the latest of which wasn’t actually my relative, but a relative of my childhood friends. She was a wonderful woman, who had been living with ALS for the better part of 5 years I think, if not longer. The one that hit me hardest though, and is still hard for me to wrap my head around, was an amazing man whom I’d not seen in almost 15 years. He was the kind of guy that would give the shirt on his back to a stranger if they needed it, and you could see that in the way he smiled - in the way his eyes twinkled. We didn’t know he was sick until he was gone, and for the past few years I’d really wanted to go down to that part of the province and visit those relatives, so that’s just making it harder for me to deal with. The silver lining in all of that, was that I was able to see many relatives at the funeral I hadn’t seen in a very long time - some of whom I wasn’t sure were still around. It’s sad that it took a loss to get us all together again, but it seems like the older I get the more and more that happens.

On a slightly strange, yet happier note, our family grew by a member this year. Her name is Scarlet O’hairy...and, with too many legs and eyes, she is an animal I never thought I would see within the confines of my walls. But, here we are, with a tarantula sitting atop a gecko tank. During my work with W1 I discovered - much to my dismay - that one of my guides is tarantula. You don’t have to know me for long to realize how much I dislike spiders, so to have a pet one is pretty absurd. I was at the local reptile expo back at the end of October (may as well say it was November), and a snake breeder who has an interest in tarantulas had a few with him. He was clearing some specimens out of his collection to make way for a bunch of new ones he was getting, and after an internal debate, some talks with a friend that works at a zoo, and the approval of my wife, I made the guy an offer. It’s been an interesting road so far, but with any luck she’s as happy as she can be in her new home. It’s something I’ve been keeping quiet about, because as unusual as a pet as she is, it’s really weird for me of all people to have her. I just don’t want to have to explain myself over and over to people that don’t really get why I have her. The main reason is to help me work out my irrational fear of spiders, but I also want to try and work more closely with an animal ally, even if it means not really being able to physically interact with her much. 

So yeah...2017. Had some great moments, and had some shitty moments, but all in all it wasn’t a bad year for me. Something else that happened, which I forgot to mention, was that my brother got engaged! It surprised us all, but we’re really happy for him.  

So here’s to 2018 and to the hope of a wonderful new year, not just for me, but for everyone! <3 

Energy Illness?

I'm finally starting to feel back to normal again - I came down with a cold/flu type thing about a week ago today, actually. The worst part about it was that it totally zapped my energy. I mean, zapped. It was very strange too - normally when I get something it starts in my sinuses and goes in to my chest after a few days, but this was the total opposite. The thing that makes matters even worse when I get sick, is that for some really strange reason, I go from sleeping really well to sleeping quite terribly. I'm not sure if it's that the cold pills that usually make people sleepy, actually have the opposite affect on me, or if it's because I'm coughing or my nose is stuffed or what, but I was lucky to get a few hours sleep a night, it felt like. But, come morning time, I could sleep like a baby. I wonder if it's because when I get sick my system gets completely thrown off and some things work backwards?

Anyway, because I was feeling so terribly for the past week it was a chore for me to do just about anything, and that includes writing or doing anything remotely witchy. I mean, I had to force myself to type up my homework, and the only motivating factor for me to do anything over the past few days even (because I still felt poorly until today) was because my mom had a knee replacement on Monday. I feel okay speaking about it now because it's already happened, and I'm pretty sure other family members know now. She forbad me to speak about it to anyone until after it had happened, so I had to keep quiet.

I had a great daily practice happening before I got sick though, and then it all went to shit. Now that I'm feeling more myself, I'm feeling like I can finally get back to things.

It has me wondering though...what happens, on an energetic level, when we get sick? Like...physically our bodies are fighting off the virus or whatever it is, so there are many biological processes happening to make sure that we fight off whatever is invading our system, and that's the reason we might get fevers or feel so tired and worn out, but on an energetic level, what is happening? Is the virus impeding our ability to 'transmit' our unique signal out in to the universe or something? Does it change the frequency at which we vibrate, thereby having an impact on something? I dunno...maybe that's all just crazy talk, but if there are biological processes happening, then maybe there are energetic ones happening too? And maybe it's the combination of the two that makes us feel so off when we come down with something? And - if that is the case - shouldn't we be able to somehow be less affected by it if we can recognize what's happening? But...if you just don't have the energy to muster in the physical sense, then how could you have the energy to do something in the non-physical sense...if that makes sense at all?

All very intriguing thoughts to me.

In other news, I've downloaded an app called DuoLingo and I'm starting...key word is starting...to learn Irish. It's slow going, but I'm starting to recognize some patterns I think. It's actually kind of fun! It's just 5 or 10 minutes a day, but I really look forward to it. There are a bunch of different languages on it, so that's pretty cool, I think. I might try another language at some point when I feel like I can devote more time to it. I don't want to start this and then let my W1 stuff slide because of it. I'm actually trying to incorporate it in somehow...like, doing a lesson as a part of my daily practice.

Anyway, I think I'm going to head off for the night. There's a ChipsAhoy! cream egg with my name on it, and I still have to do today's language lesson.

Happy March!

Until next time!

Vets and Stres and Dreams oh my!

So it's been a few days since I've updated on here, but I've still been writing. I just hadn't gotten a chance to get to the computer to actually make the updates. Here are the past few days that I did though...

______________________________________________________________________

So I promise I wrote this on the 20th...I just didn't get to post it until today.

The reason I didn't post/write it earlier is because a friend came over before work and I wanted to catch up rather than write.

Anyway, I got my homework back for last month and I apparently forgot to include something. I really didn't think it was homework to be turned in, I thought it was a journal thing, so I feel badly that I didn't get it right. They were really nice about it though, and just said to include it in this month's stuff, so I'm glad for that.

I hate writing on my phone so this will be quick, because "I" keeps changing to "u" and it's really frustrating.

Anyway, it's been a good day. I did seasonal set up at work tonight because we have an important guy coming in to the store tomorrow and it needs to be done. Normally there are 3 people working on it, on backshift, for 2 12 hour shifts. Tonight it was just me. Hopefully I got enough done on it, but it's not my fault for not having it more done  than it is. I'm only 1 person.

I know this is kind of a pathetic entry, but I wanted to write something to say I did. 

Until next time!

______________________________________________________________________________

Another day where I didn't update on the day that I'm writing this, but again, I promise it's the 21st! I'll even take a photo to prove it!

Anyway, today was good. I played some Rock Band this morning for the first time in quite a while, but I've been dreaming about playing instruments that I used to play, so this gives me a false sense of playing something :P Not sure what that's all about, but there it is.

My day at work wasn't too bad, so that was a plus, and I was off an hour earlier than the rest of my shifts this week, so that's nice too. Normally I'd have just gotten on the bus.

I took the bus home with a co-worker tonight which was really nice actually, because we had a conversation about dreams. I found out he used to experiment with lucid dreaming a while back, which I thought was really cool to learn! In talking with him it made me realize that I have some hidden talent in my dreaming. I know that sounds weird, but, it's like things came easier to me than they did for him, and I dunno, it's like things that he had to work at, I didn't have to. I'm very grateful for this! 

As a child I had a lot of very vivid dreams (and I still do), but I also had a lot of nightmares. It was to the point where I would sleep with my light on, and my mom even got her friend to help me. I remember sleeping with a Bible under my pillow, and a little beach stone with a happy face drawn on it (I presume, to help fight off the bad dreams). I also remember that one of the first things I ever bought from Little Mysteries was a dream pillow, because at that time, I was having issues with insomnia. 

I guess even though some of my dreams are gory (chopping off a guy's head with an axe gory) or scary, I'm really lucky I remember them in the detail that I do (though not all the time), and I'm really lucky to even have them at all. I really do miss dreaming when I don't...though, I suppose I still do when I "don't", it's just that I don't remember my dreams on those nights. 

So with that, I'll leave you for the night. Since I'm not working tomorrow, I should hopefully be able to get to my computer to post these past two entries. 

Until next time!

_____________________________________________________________________________

There we have it! All caught up. And now, on to today.

I've decided that I will be making and charging a protection charm on Sunday. I've already got a few things together, but I'll hopefully be able to get the rest of it tomorrow before work. I'd also like to do a healing thing for a family member on Sunday as well, so hopefully I can combine the two.

I had today off, and while it was really great to re-charge this morning, the rest of the day proved to be a lot busier than I had planned. I started the day a lot earlier than I was anticipating, but I also ended up dozing on the couch for a bit before I really got going. I had to make an appointment for one of our cats to see the vet because it looked like there was blood in his urine again. It turned out that the tests came back just fine, and that it's likely just a random flare up of his cystitis (I think that's what she said it was anyway). It was relieving to hear. 

My brother's partner's dog also had bathroom issues today, so I helped him take the dog to the vet. I actually spent a lot more time with him today than I have in a while - my brother that is, not the dog :P It was kind of nice getting to hang out, even if it wasn't exactly the best circumstances. The dog seems to be okay, in case you're wondering.  

I'm afraid today's post isn't going to be the most enlightening thing I've ever written, but I feel pretty drained. Stress from two animal health issues is enough for one day, and I think that's contributing to why I'm feeling so tired all of a sudden. That, or the fact that I was up just before 7 is catching up to me now that it's after 9:30. Since when did I get to be so old? :P 

I'm going to get going though, I want to get a few things tidied up before I head off to bed for the night. 

Until next time!

PS - Here's proof that those other posts were written when I said they were!

A little blurb on Witchcraft as a Religion..I mean little

It's been another lazy morning for me, but it's Sunday and I don't mind that so much. I did get some reading done though, so it wasn't all bad. 

I'm really not sure what to write about today though...I'm kind of drawing a blank. It feels like I just wrote, but on top of that all I've done so far is eat, read, and get myself dressed. 

...

Maybe I'll go to one of the questions from a few months ago and answer that...

When did you first hear about Witchcraft being a religion? How do you feel about Witchcraft as a religion?

Well, I first heard about it in grade 7 - when I was 12 - from a new friend at the time. I had just moved to a new school and she lived up the street from me, so we became friends pretty quickly. One day she told me that her sister had been a Witch and I didn't believe her. Until that point I thought witches were fictional halloween characters, that they couldn't possibly be real. A quick internet search led us to several Angelfire websites indicating that witches are very much real, and that their religion is Wicca. Keep in mind, this was around 1999 and Google wasn't really a thing yet, and Wikipedia wasn't really either, so our source material wasn't exactly the most reliable, but it's in part because of those early web searches that I'm sitting here today writing this.

It's funny looking back on my life growing up - my dad had a collection of crystals, a crystal ball, tarot cards, and a Ouija board. I had no idea what that all meant, so I didn't realize that Witchcraft was right under my nose the whole time and I didn't know it. 

Anyway, up until the last few years I would have argued that Witchcraft wasn't a religion, but that Wicca was. I would have said that Witchcraft was a practice more than a religion. After a few solid years of really delving into things, reading more, and doing more, that viewpoint has changed somewhat. 

How do I feel about it as a religion...just fine I guess XP I mean, having taken a degree in Religious Studies I feel like I have a fairly decent understanding of what constitutes religion and what's more cultural practices. Sometimes it's really hard to distinguish between the two, especially in the case of more Eastern religions, but I think that one could certainly call Witchcraft a religion apart from Wicca. You just have to look hard enough to find the differences between the two, and that's what I found to be challenging for a while. Although there's not necessarily a unifying doctrine to Witchcraft, there are governing laws that - depending on the witch - people ascribe to (see the Hermetic Principles). Without going into too much detail here, because I'm now running short on time, there are also a general set of practices and certain times that most witches will observe and do. You really just have to look at the bigger picture, and to take a step back to see it. 

Now I've got to head off - I've got a whopping 10 minutes to make sure I've got everything ready for work before I leave.

Until next time!

Breathing Space

I had a day off today!!!

I was supposed to be off on Wednesday of this week, but because of the snow, they switched things up on me a bit. I ended up having Tuesday off and working on Wednesday instead. While that wasn't a bad thing overall, I had to re-schedule the massage appointment I had for Wednesday, which was frustrating. I didn't think my back wasn't that bad because I'd just had a massage 3-ish weeks prior, so I was hoping that I could get myself back on track before things got bad again, but then I did a lot of shovelling with the storms and I ended up needing this massage a lot more than I figured I would/more than I realized I needed it.

My massage therapist works out of her house Monday-Friday and has another business she runs on weekends, so I thought that I wouldn't be able to re-scuedule until next week. It turned out that she'll be away for the next 2 weeks, so she made an exception and scheduled me in for today! How awesome was that?! So anyway, I went for my massage today, and discovered that my ribs were out of place! O.O I had no idea that things were so janked up, but she ended up doing some weird stuff to put my ribs back where they belonged, and I've got to say, I haven't been able to breathe this easy in weeks! It's kind of scary how oblivious I was to that...and it makes me wonder how much stuff is like that on a daily basis. Stuff that we just grow accustomed to and ignore because it's just so routine. Not just health related stuff, but thoughts and actions and energies...how do you change that? I don't think it's as simple as having someone crack your back - for lack of better terms - and fix things.

Anyway, the rest of the day was good. My wife and I ended up having brunch and then chatting with a friend for a while, before going home and napping and lazing about. I probably should have had a more productive day - reading - but, I think I needed the lazing.

I think that's it for me for today. I work a late shift tomorrow, and straight through until Wednesday. *sigh*

Until next time!

Ramblings

So today I'm working a later shift because I switched with someone that had something come up, so I'm writing before work instead of after. It just doesn't seem right to come home at midnight and then have to come on here - technically I'd have missed a day.

So far today has been pretty low-key. I slept in late, and when I got up I was really tired feeling, like I'm coming down with a cold. I'm also kind of achy, presumably from the shovelling. There's lots of colds and flus going around now though, and there have been a lot of people sick at work, so I've been very fortunate to make it this far without getting something. I'm hopeful I can skirt it, but I'm not holding my breath that's for sure.

I really haven't done much of anything today, so I'm not exactly sure what to write about. I went to the grocery store, but nothing overly exciting or poignant happened while I was there. I had a light breakfast though, so that I can grab a bite to eat before I have to leave for work.

I was talking to my mom for a bit this morning, which was nice. We're pretty close, but I had't spoken to her in about a week so she was feeling it. She'd heard from a mutual friend of ours who has been having a rough go of it lately. He had a shitty break up about 2 years ago, and has been trying to find someone ever since but to no avail. I felt really badly for him at the time, and it really sucks we don't live closer so we can hang out and whatnot, but from the sounds of things, the winds of change just blew his way and the universe might be helping him out. I'd really like to drop him a line and see what's up, but this took priority over that, unfortunately.

I'm nearly "done" my lesson for this month, which is nice, but I still need to do the big exercise and listen to the class notes. It's really hard only having one day off at a time - not 2 days off together - because you try and cram everything in one day and then, I'm noticing, that I feel burnt out. This past week wasn't too bad because of the snow days though, so I feel like I accomplished a lot in the past week. Plus I've started this, so that's good too.

I think that's it for now...I might go and start to listen to those notes. I find I can't really do much else when I listen to them, or else I don't absorb as much...I guess that makes sense. I can usually multi-task as good as the next person, but when it comes to something that requires a bit more attention I can really only do one thing at a time.

Until next time!

All You Need Is A Hug

Ugh.

Not the best way to start off a post/entry, but there it is.

I'm super sore from all the shovelling lately, but I think that it was particularly today's round of vigorous shovelling that did me in. I still love the snow though, no matter how messy it makes me.

I was having a pretty decent day all and all, until some stuff happened and I realized I was in a really foul mood for no apparent reason. Here's what happened: I was putting out today's order, and all was well and good. I was noticing that I was a bit on the tired side despite having had a coffee, and I assumed it was because I'd neglected to take my vitamin B12 supplement for a few days in a row. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm sure all the shovelling I'd done earlier wasn't helping my energy levels either. Aside from the tiredness, though, I was in a good headspace. I had gotten to work really early (like 1.5 hours, because I was worried about having to wait forever for a bus), but in that time I had a bite to eat and did the crossword in today's Metro. All was well. Then I realized my co-worker was being a bit of a downer. I'm not trying to criticize her, but in an effort to explain how my mood changed so suddenly, I'm nit-picking a bit. Anyway, she was just very blah and ho-hum about things, and complaining about customers. I get it, we all have to vent. I'm sure I've done it before too. She also seemed on the tired side. But at this point I wasn't noticing that I was getting short or cranky or anything. Then, a customer came in who has been known to cause us issues, and I think that's when things started to go down hill. My co-worker was really frustrated with this person, and the customer himself was just...off. One of the managers came down to help make sure he wasn't going to cause us issues, and I could tell he was also agitated. Things got really bad shortly after that though, when we had issues with a photo kiosk and that same manager had to call IT for help. He had to keep running back and forth to the phone and the machine, and it was very apparent that he was not in a good mood. I was helping him with the issue.

It was shortly after this that I realized I was also in a rotten mood. And the more I thought about it, the more I couldn't explain why...until I examined my environment. Then I realized that the way I was feeling probably wasn't coming from me, and that I was just picking up on the mood(s) of the people around me. Once I realized this, I had no idea how to shake it. I mentioned it to another co-worker though, when he asked me how I was doing - I think he could tell I was off - and I explained to him my realization. I asked him "how do you think I can fix it?" and his reply was "with a hug - it always helps me when I'm in a shitty mood" and so we had a hug. And do you know what? In a matter of 30 minutes or so, I felt loads better. I also did some visualization which also could have helped, but by and large, I think the hug really helped to get things turned around.

So my realization of the day is: perhaps I pick up on more than I think I do in the run of a day, energetically. I'm thinking I should really start to reintegrate shielding into my daily practice to help from picking up on unwanted or emotions. I'm also thinking that I should look at ways to help swing things back around in my favour when/if this happens again. I'm sure it's happened before but I just wasn't as aware of it, especially when I'm on the bus.

Anyway, I should go make that popcorn I've been wanting for the past hour :P

Until next time!

A New Day

In an effort to make myself more accountable, and to give myself more daily structure, I have decided to take my journal off the physical pages of a notebook, and put it here, on my blog. I am doing this quite reluctantly though, because I am very tactile and I love having a physical notebook to write in with a fancy pen. It is my hope that by making this digital it will force me into more of a daily routine. The biggest reason I'm choosing to do this, however, accountability. I intend on making this accessible for my witchy friends. I hope that in doing this it will force me to be more accountable, to get me back in the habit of making this a routine rather than "oh I'm too tired right now, I'll just do it tomorrow" but the trouble is, tomorrow never comes.

As a part of the class I'm taking, I've decided to do a ritual of dedication. I'm finding it hard to maintain the momentum I had when the class started in the fall, so in hopes of bringing some of that back, I am changing up this blog a bit. Like I said earlier, now it will serve as my journal. Because I will now have a more public journal, there will be times when I change certain things up ever so slightly in the interest of privacy. Just because my life will be more of an open book, it doesn't mean that anyone else's has to be.

And now, with that, the first journal entry...

_______________________________________________________________________

5 days in, and this is my first "real" journal entry...could be worse I guess. I've been doing really well at keeping up with most everything else so far though. The only other thing I really need to work on is meditating. I'm not sure why it's so difficult for me to find the time to do it. It's not like I dislike it or anything, in fact, it's quite the opposite, but for some reason it's like there's a block. I suppose it could be because the altar room is so cold all the time, and just the thought of going in there makes me shiver. I guess it could also be because it's on a different level of the house than where I usually hang out, so it requires more effort to get up and go there. Maybe it's just that I'm lazy...I dunno. It's like...I like the idea of it, but not so much the doing of it. It's kind of weird.

Anyway, something that I've noticed recently is that there is a marked difference in my mood when recite the Lorax. It's like it helps me to get out of whatever "funk" I'm in. I also notice a marked difference when I use BP's. I never thought something so simple could have such quantifiable results, but I'm really noticing a positive change from just those two simple things. Those, along with my affirmations, have really made for a great daily practice. Now if I could just get my butt in gear to meditate, I'd be in business! 

(Just so you know, I'm not actually reciting the Lorax by Dr. Seuss - for privacy reasons, I changed the name and used an abbreviation for something else)

We're getting more snow tonight...and I secretly/not so secretly, love it. I love seeing so much snow. I know a lot of people hate it, and I totally get how frustrating it can be - shovelling the snow wall at the end of our driveway yesterday was a Herculean task, believe me - but I absolutely love the snow. I love how crisp it is and how pristine everything looks just after it's fallen. I love the smell of snow and how fresh it feels. I especially love when it crunches beneath your boots - the perfect snow for skiing in. I guess I just never outgrew the love of snow I had when I was a kid. It's almost like it energizes me. As much as I love the summer - how lush, green, and alive everything is - I absolutely melt in its heat. But in the winter - when everything is dead, frozen, and sleep - my body thrives in the cold, crisp air. It's funny how that is.

Anyway, it's getting late - 11:15 - so I should really be off for the night. 

Here's hoping this new journal format works out better for me. Until next time!