Ugh.
Not the best way to start off a post/entry, but there it is.
I'm super sore from all the shovelling lately, but I think that it was particularly today's round of vigorous shovelling that did me in. I still love the snow though, no matter how messy it makes me.
I was having a pretty decent day all and all, until some stuff happened and I realized I was in a really foul mood for no apparent reason. Here's what happened: I was putting out today's order, and all was well and good. I was noticing that I was a bit on the tired side despite having had a coffee, and I assumed it was because I'd neglected to take my vitamin B12 supplement for a few days in a row. Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm sure all the shovelling I'd done earlier wasn't helping my energy levels either. Aside from the tiredness, though, I was in a good headspace. I had gotten to work really early (like 1.5 hours, because I was worried about having to wait forever for a bus), but in that time I had a bite to eat and did the crossword in today's Metro. All was well. Then I realized my co-worker was being a bit of a downer. I'm not trying to criticize her, but in an effort to explain how my mood changed so suddenly, I'm nit-picking a bit. Anyway, she was just very blah and ho-hum about things, and complaining about customers. I get it, we all have to vent. I'm sure I've done it before too. She also seemed on the tired side. But at this point I wasn't noticing that I was getting short or cranky or anything. Then, a customer came in who has been known to cause us issues, and I think that's when things started to go down hill. My co-worker was really frustrated with this person, and the customer himself was just...off. One of the managers came down to help make sure he wasn't going to cause us issues, and I could tell he was also agitated. Things got really bad shortly after that though, when we had issues with a photo kiosk and that same manager had to call IT for help. He had to keep running back and forth to the phone and the machine, and it was very apparent that he was not in a good mood. I was helping him with the issue.
It was shortly after this that I realized I was also in a rotten mood. And the more I thought about it, the more I couldn't explain why...until I examined my environment. Then I realized that the way I was feeling probably wasn't coming from me, and that I was just picking up on the mood(s) of the people around me. Once I realized this, I had no idea how to shake it. I mentioned it to another co-worker though, when he asked me how I was doing - I think he could tell I was off - and I explained to him my realization. I asked him "how do you think I can fix it?" and his reply was "with a hug - it always helps me when I'm in a shitty mood" and so we had a hug. And do you know what? In a matter of 30 minutes or so, I felt loads better. I also did some visualization which also could have helped, but by and large, I think the hug really helped to get things turned around.
So my realization of the day is: perhaps I pick up on more than I think I do in the run of a day, energetically. I'm thinking I should really start to reintegrate shielding into my daily practice to help from picking up on unwanted or emotions. I'm also thinking that I should look at ways to help swing things back around in my favour when/if this happens again. I'm sure it's happened before but I just wasn't as aware of it, especially when I'm on the bus.
Anyway, I should go make that popcorn I've been wanting for the past hour :P
Until next time!
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