I Open at the Close

A little note on my spiritual progression (so far) after IDGAF...

In my last blog post I mentioned that we've been doing more regular meditations, and this past week was no exception. It seems as though the more I do them, the more I get out of them. Obviously this is what I want to happen, and I'm thrilled its happening, but I have to say I'm actually kind of surprised. I really thought it would have taken more practicing before I got anything meaningful, but it's actually been more like riding a bike - a little shaky at first, but smooth sailing after a few pedals. 

I'm not sure if you've gotten this impression from me in the things I've posted thus far or not, but on the whole I'm a really sceptical person with just about everything until I can verify it. Spiritual matters are no exception. For example, I always thought Reki was a load of hooey until I saw someone instantly cured of a day-long nose bleed (literally, it had been happening off and on all day). I'm talking, had a nose bleed and got two Reki masters to Reki their face. By the time they were done the nose bleed was gone. To my knowledge this person hasn't actually had one since. That's the kind of confirmation I need. That, or witnessing two people having the same experiences or impressions of something that neither one of them have had or seen before. As an example, say two people are doing a healing and never worked together before. They both see the exact same thing that's plaguing the "sick" person and all three people have the same experiences when getting whatever it is to "release". 

Even better that any of that would be actually experiencing or seeing something for myself. That is the tricky part, however. I'm nervous of things, especially when it involves something I've not dealt with before, or something that's "bigger than me". For me, that's pretty much everything, lol! So what I'm trying to get out of these meditations is more self-awareness. I want to know myself - what I'm good at doing, what I should work on, who my guides are and how I can work with them, and what my focus should be. I've been getting some cryptic messages in all of this, but I think it's kind of fun to decipher them. I also need to be less nervous of everything, and I'm hoping that by the time I've gotten some questions answered I won't always turn hide and run if I hear or see something out of the ordinary.

I know I've mentioned I've started to make myself a staff in my previous post, but I just have to gush about it for a minute. I love it so far and all I've done is sand it down! I'm pretty pumped to work on it and finish it, and I love that I'm so excited about it. It's like I've found something to get me through the dreary winter. I would love to have it finished tomorrow but I need to get a few things for it and money is tight at the moment. I'm not expecting it will be completely finished before the spring but I could be wrong. 

I've also started reading To Walk a Pagan Path by Alaric Albertsson. I'm only a few chapters in, and I already think it needs to be added to the IDGAF reading list. It would be really helpful for someone whose trying to create a more spiritual daily experience. He's created a seven-step system, and gives tips and such that make a lot of sense. So, two thumbs up for that book! 

I open at the close. A cryptic message intended for Harry Potter to decipher, but it's not unlike some of the messages I've been receiving lately. Just a silly little something to title my post. 

The Dying of the Light

It's officially that time of year again - when everything slows down, the chill in the air turns into an icy nip, and the fleeting daylight becomes a beacon with witch to guide our way through the blanketed darkness enshrouding our lives. Autumn is slowly winding its way towards the cold, stark beauty of winter, and as much as I hate to admit it, I kind of enjoy it.

This year at Samhain, my coven ran a pretty heavy ritual. There were about 10 of us in attendance - the 4 of us, plus 6 of our closest witchy friends. It was an awesome ritual put together by my wife, and executed by the 4 of us. I played a ghostly spectre, the guardian of the crossroads between the living and the dead. To get by me you had to prove your willingness to let go and except your fate - death. We were burying the parts of ourselves that we no longer needed - physically burying them by imbuing our personalized poppets with those things that no longer served. At Samhain, it's time to let go and start anew, which is what we did. Once we sang ourselves our last rights and burial dirge, our bodies were ready for entombment. The grave we marked with a headstone. Once we let ourselves go, we came back to a lively wake - snacks and finger foods to share amongst friends. All in all, it was a really great ritual. Although I didn't get as much out of it as I was hoping, focusing a lot of my efforts on the part I had to play, I still walked away lighter.

I tend to get a lot of ideas around this time of year, since it's a more introspective time, and I've decided to make myself a staff. On Tuesday I found the perfect fallen tree branch near the spot we use in the marsh and brought it home with me. So far I've stripped the bark off, and I just need to sand it down a bit. I'm excited about this little project - something that hasn't happened to me in a while.

I also recently cleaned up my altar a bit; it was in desperate need of a bit of a re-vamp. Here's some before and after pictures:

So as you can see it had gotten a little stagnant, in the middle in particular, and because of that it lost a bit of its focus.

Now it's all reworked to be a little more suited to my needs. I left the tiers the same, by and large, but what I've done given them a bit more of a purpose. The top is a place where I'll put whatever it is I want to charge up or cleanse during a moon phase or something. The middle layer is more worldly things that are sort of physical representations of the elements. I also have my athame on this level to signify this is the level at which we operate on. The third and bottom layer has the most going on, because it's at eye level when I'm sitting in front of it. This is where I'll put any offerings (the empty wooden bowl), or any tarot cards I pull for focus or anything like that. It's also where I put my sugar skulls and the like, so that I've still got an upper, middle, lower worlds thing going on a bit.

My coven has also recently taken to doing a weekly guided medication, which I'm loving. It's something I'd been wanting to do for a while, so I'm glad we've kind-of sort-of maybe made it a bit of a thing during our weekly meetings. I'm admittedly way rustier than I'd like to be.

So here we are, on the winding, darkening path towards winter, and Yule. I love the stillness of the winter. The fresh feeling after a snowfall, when everything is silent and crisp, the smell, and when the contrast from the colour of barren trees and the near-blinding white of the snow is high. It's cold and it's jarring, and I both love and hate it at the same time. I hate bing cold. I hate being overburdened with outer winter wear, being icy cold one minute, and too hot the next. But I also love it (the season). It brings people closer together, and makes us appreciate the daylight more, the summer more. Sometimes there's nothing more you want to do on a cold, blustery, wintery night, than to curl up with a fluffy blanket, a good book, and a warm beverage of your choice. And maybe a cat and a loved one too. Can't forget the most important parts!

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I also wanted to take a moment to talk about Remembrance Day, especially in the wake of recent Canadian events. On November 11th our Country takes some time out to mark the ending of the war, and to reflect on those who died during wartime so that we can have the freedoms we do today. It's always been an important holiday to me, because my grandfather and my great uncle both fought in World War 2 (with the Navy). They were the lucky ones. They made it home. So many people didn't, or if they did, parts of them were missing either physically or mentally. This is what Remembrance Day means to me. Taking a moment to be thankful for the world we live in, because even with its shortcomings, it wouldn't be the way it is today without the sacrifices of so many. Taking a moment to remember that for every person that came home from the war, countless others didn't. It truly is the ultimate sacrifice. It's kind of fitting that it happens so close to Samhain, isn't it?

IDGAFian Reflections

Hi guys! I hope your weekend went well, whatever you did with it. Mine was pretty relaxed, all in all, and the weather was nice too - so much so that it really doesn't feel like the middle/end of October. I think I'm finally ready for that nip in the air and frosty nights that signal Samhain is drawing near. (Just as an aside, I wrote that part last night, and when I woke up this morning it was really cold - only 4 degrees Celsius. It only got up to 8 degrees today, and I just couldn't get warm at work no matter what I did...I'm sorry to all the locals that might be reading this, I may have jinxed us)

Now that I'm done going through the IDGAF initiatory process, I just wanted to blog about it a little.

Looking back on where I was before I started this whole process, I have to say, I've come a long way - but, I can also fairly say that I've still got a ways to go. I know what I need to work on now, which is a step in the right direction, and I have all the tools available to me. I kind of feel like I'm the Magician in the Tarot Cards at the moment - everything is laid out in front of me, now I just need to sort out how to use them and get to work.

IDGAF gave me the push I needed to get back in to the swing of things, and I'm really happy it got me reading again. All of the books I read, with the exception of the last one, I'd been wanting to read for some time and this was the perfect motivating force to get me to read. My list was pretty eclectic but that suits me perfectly. Of all the books I read, I think that The Way of Four (Lipp) gave me the most ideas to try and incorporate into my practice, but I think that my first book, The Wisdom of No Escape: And The Path of Loving Kindness (Chodron) left the most impression on me. I'm not saying that the other books weren't enjoyable or that I didn't get anything out of reading them, but those were the two that stuck with me a little more than the rest.

I'm also really glad I have a sacred space again, since before IDGAF I hadn't had an altar set up since I moved of my parent's house. It's nice to have a space to go to again, even if that sometimes means just standing in front of it and thinking about how I could tweak it here and there. I'll freely admit that I've let it build up a small layer of dust, but it's nothing an old make-up brush can't fix. I've also enjoyed being more connected to the outside space around us, and maintaining the bird feeders we put up.

I feel recharged again.

A Mini Update to Placate the Masses

So it would seem as though I've been away for a while again, and I once again, apologize for my absence. While I have great intentions of coming on here and updating, shit just happens. So while I have a spare 20 minutes, here is my attempt at an update.

Three of us are now initiated members of the IDGAF tradition, which is pretty cool. It was a long process with a few bumps along the way, but we made it! It feels awesome to be able to look back on it and say, "Yeah, I did that!". Our fourth soon-to-be fully-fledged IDGAFian will be joining our ranks a little later on in the month, which is also awesome. I am so glad she's gotten just as much out of this process as the rest of us seem to have.

I'd like to blog more about that later when I have more time than I do now, but I'm not sure when that will be.

Speaking of time and a lack there of, ever since Heather and I have gotten back from our cruise we've had stuff on the go every night but a few, which means that those few nights were spent doing laundry, going to appointments, and just generally enjoying being at home - hence the no updates.

Things have kind of been that way with me for a bit now though - on-the-go that is. That's why you haven't seen me on here much, because instead of blogging like I've needed to, I was checking my Facebook and looking at travel-related stuff, along with personal shit.

My knee has been acting up, and according to my doctor I have bursitis. I went in for an x-ray on Friday and he's got me on some strong anti-anflamitories at the moment, he also wants me to go to Physio but I haven't made an appointment for that yet. Hopefully that will all get sorted out soon, but I'm just thankful that my knee/leg isn't twice it's size any more!

I can't believe it's mid-way through October already...time keeps going way too quickly for my liking.  Speaking of which, today is Thanksgiving here in Canada, so to anyone reading this from Canada, Happy Thanksgiving! I'm thankful for so much I would be here for a week if I listed it all, so I'll just sum it up in saying that I'm thankful for my life as it is right now, with all the people and stuff in it!

Sadly, that's all the time I have for now. I know every time I 'sign off' I say "hopefully I'll be back again for an update soon", so instead of that, I'll just say...until next time!

To Everything There Is A Season

I hope everyone had a happy Lammas/Imbolc!

Firstly, I have to say how sad I was to learn of Margot Adler's passing last week. I had no idea she had been ill, and I just found it really ironic that I chose her book to be my last IDGAF book. I was not expecting to enjoy it as I have been, and I think that by the time I'm done it, I will be amongst the people feeling the loss of this influential and highly respected lady.

I also have to mention that the book store I used to work at is closing at the end of this month, or when the stock sells out. I've been going back occasionally for the past year or so when they've been in a bit of a pickle for staff. I knew it was coming, or rather, had an inkling it was coming, and yet I still find myself shaking my head in disbelief every now and then. Nothing can last forever, I know this, and I also realize that everything really does have its season, but I just can't help being sad about it sometimes. I practically grew up at this store - it was my first ever job, and I have a lot of emotional ties to it. Heck, it was in this book store that I met my wife. It means a lot to me, and to see it close...well, it just sucks! I understand why it's closing, and I have to say that I am very happy for the owners to be moving on to things that they've been wanting to do for a while, but it is very bittersweet in the end. It's also a huge loss to the local community, as this is pretty much the only local store that sells pagan-related goods. There are two other stores, which is fantastic, but they just don't have the selection and atmosphere that this store does. I also don't think that the local community realizes just how much they will miss this place when its gone, and the huge gaping void that will be left in its wake. Maybe it's just my emotions talking though. Maybe, just maybe, something will rise up in its place though...the universe works in strange ways sometimes.

I also can't believe we're now in to our last month of IDGAF initiatory studies, and that we're just starting to get the first bits of veggies from our little deck garden. In fact, tonight we had the first few green beans from one of our plants. It's crazy how quickly time seems to be passing.

Super Moon

Hi guys!

Sorry I'm posting this a little bit late, but better late than never, I guess.

Anyway, last weekend was the full moon, which also happened to be a super moon. This time it was Drew's turn to plan a rit. I don't have any photos for you, but it was dark by the time we got out and nothing would have turned out, so I didn't bother to take any.

It was just a simple ritual to charge and consecrate whatever we happened to have that need a little refreshing, since it's a good time to do that on a full moon. I thought my tarot cards could use a bit of a refresher, so that's what I brought, though it took me a minute to come up with something to bring.

We were originally going to go to our spot in the marsh, but because there was only 3 of us, we didn't want to go all the way back. We ended up stopping about half way in. Drew was setting everything up when we heard twigs snapping behind us, and maybe a hint of voices, so we decided it wasn't the best place to do stuff and packed it up in favour of going to a more private spot - our balcony.

It was just a quick and simple rit, so there's really not much for me to say. It was a bit frustrating to have to move, but once we got back here and re-focused it went well.

I have to say, I really enjoyed watching the moon that night. It was absolutely gorgeous!

Anyway, we only have one more ritual left to do for our IDGAF initiation, which will be a collaborative effort if I'm not mistaken.

That's all from me for now!

Late blog prompt and IDGAF

Hi guys!

I tried to do this blog post in a vlog format 3 times now, and I just can't do it. It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't stumble over my words, ramble on, and have long awkward pauses, but every time I went to shoot this video so far, that's happened. Maybe one of these days I'll be less terrible at it and one of my videos will actually make it on here. For now though, you get to read all about it instead of listen all about it.

July marks month 4 of our IDGAF initiatory process, and I have to say, I'm really happy to have made it this far. Despite my setbacks here and there, I seem to be back on track for the most part and chugging along again. I enjoy reading the books I've been reading, I enjoy my altar, and I enjoy being overall more spiritual. The rituals we've done so far have all been meaningful and enjoyable. I've been finding doing this IDGAF stuff has made me a lot more mindful of my spirituality in general and has reminded me of how neglectful I'd been prior to doing this.

I'm also really happy for my "student" in Australia! (I said that in quotation marks because she hasn't really needed me a whole lot so she doesn't quite feel like a student in the sense that I don't really feel like her teacher, lol) She seems be to be coming along well and getting a lot out of the experience too, and I'm really glad that we've been able to give her an outlet to reconnect.

It's hard to believe we've only got 2 months left of this initiation process! I'm excited to see where the rest of the process takes me, as well as the other dedicants. I'm also enjoying my book a lot, and might actually try and finish it sooner rather than later just because the book I have picked out next is really "meaty" and kind of dry (from what I hear), so I'm not exactly looking forward to reading it and because of that I want to give myself a little extra time to read it.

So I'm chiming in a bit late on the blog prompt, but it was essentially about charging people for magickal services, and what we thought about that. Personally, I think it's completely acceptable to ask for payment for a class, workshop, reading, treatment, or service of some kind. You're putting your time and effort into doing something for someone so I think it's totally justifiable to ask for compensation. If you're running a class and give out handouts or tokens or something, and are renting a space I think it's totally fair to charge for that class - even if you're not giving anything out, I still think it's fair because you've had to prepare for that class and you put your time and energy into it. Now, do I think it's fair to charge $250 for a one-hour class? Not really. It would have to be one heck of a big deal for me to pay that kind of money. I also think that bartering or trading is completely acceptable as well. If you can't pay with money, why not with baked goods or a service you can provide or skill you have?

There we have it...4 months of IDGAF and a blog prompt. No video though...maybe one day...maybe one day.

Enjoy the rest of yours though! Until next time!